“The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me to lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside the still waters. He restores my soul; He leads me in the paths of righteousness For His name’s sake.”
I haven’t written a new post in nearly eight months. I feel like I should try to explain that as I attempt to jump back into sharing my heart about life and motherhood, and how I see God’s hand in our daily life.
Many times this past year, I have started to write, only to stop after a paragraph or two at a loss for the right words. It isn’t that I didn’t have ideas or stories, I just couldn’t develop them into something I wanted share with others.
At first, it really bothered me that I couldn’t write. For two years, I had posted something new almost every other week. Now, all of the sudden, I had nothing to say.
God’s goodness and faithfulness in my family’s life have been just as evident this year as they ever have. There are so many stories of answered prayers, big and small. There are countless little reminders of His love all around us. We have experienced both loss and gain, as everyone does. I guess it is just that through it all in this season of 2021, I have felt a need to just be quiet, be still, to rest, and reflect on the unfailing faithfulness of God’s love.
Part of it is that I turned 40 last November, and as silly as it might sound, I really struggled with facing that age. I am sure I am not the only woman to feel that way. There was just something about the number that was difficult for me, something in my mind and that made me feel like going from 39 to 40 meant that I was “old”.
In the months before my November birthday, I set all of these goals I felt I HAD to accomplish before turning the big 4-0. I had to complete the oil painting I had started eight years earlier and hadn’t touched. I needed to work on writing blogs and writing songs. I had to run a certain amount of miles over the course of the year, including a 40 mile run on or near my actual 40th birthday. For some reason, I had to prove I had all the energy and strength to do the things I wanted to do, even though my body was turning this age of four complete decades. I pushed all year, and I did all of those things on my list. And then, I just needed to rest.
Now, here I sit, tomorrow is my birthday, and I will turn 41. The number still sounds strange to say, a little too high; but I feel ok about it. This year has been very quiet for me, with lots of family time, and lots of reflection. It has been very peaceful and still.
“Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.”
This coming year, I hope to start writing again and sharing more of the sweet stories of how my adventurous little boys and I see God’s goodness every day. I hope that God will use my words to encourage other moms as they try to love their families and walk closer to Him.
“Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart Be acceptable in Your sight, O Lord, my strength and my Redeemer.”
I am thankful for God’s love. I am so grateful for every day of this life He has given me as a wife to my loving husband, a mother to my two precious sons, and to our two new crazy dogs. Through every season, and each new day, I am still just one very thankful mommy!